Middle Earth safety (Air New Zealand)
Blog Words : Weird@Wanderlust | 12 December

9 mad flight safety videos

If you take onboard safety seriously, look away now

As more and more passengers ignore onboard safety videos, airlines are turning to novel ways to get the message across. Here are nine of the craziest, maddest and downright dumbest.

1. Elf and Safety – Air New Zealand

Less than three weeks after it was launched, Air New Zealand’s Hobbit-themed safety video has had close to 10 million views on YouTube. That’s more people than have flown Air New Zealand. Ever.

2. The kids are all wrong – Thomson Airways

Everyone likes kids, right? Not after watching this safety video produced for Thomson. The adorable lisp of the 8-year-old ‘stewardess’ wears thin just after she announces “Welcome abwoard!”

3. If CBeebies did safety videos – Sri Lankan Air

This candyfloss video is so sickly sweet you’ll be reaching for the sick bag before the plane has taxied away from the terminal.

4. If Lady Gaga did safety videos – Cebu Pacific

Lady Gaga’s ode to a drunken night of not quite remembering what happened might not be the most appropriate soundtrack for airline safety instructions, but the stewardesses from Cebu Pacific give it their best shot. Mercifully, not wearing meat dresses.

5. You can dance if you want to – Cebu Pacific

OK, the guys from Cebu Pacific can’t dance for peanuts. But their taste in music is impeccable. Safety Dance by Men Without Hats. The extended mix.

6. Well below their personal best – Qantas

Wondering why the Australian Olympic team did so badly at London 2012? I suspect the shame of being involved in this safety video was to blame.

7. Rucking awful– Air New Zealand

This rugby-themed safety video, produced to coincide with the 2011 World Cup, held in New Zealand, has the dubious honour of featuring more bad rugby puns – and more bewildered All Blacks – than any passenger should be forced to sit through.

8. The Bare Essentials – Air New Zealand

Air New Zealand stripped air safety back to the basics in this video. The staff featured are wearing nothing more than a lick of body paint. Cunning camera angles ensure that their modesty is protected. Not so much in the accompanying 'bloopers' reel.

9. Mile High Madness – Air New Zealand

Finally, the craziest of all safety videos. And, again, it's from Air New Zealand. 

Entitled 'Fit to Fly' this video features lurid colours and 80s fitness guru Richard Simmons in an equally lurid outfit. This is plane-crash viewing – you can't take your eyes off it. Which I guess is what Air New Zealand were hoping for.