Don't pick up hitchhikers sign (Shutterstock: see credit below)
Blog Words : Weird@Wanderlust | 08 August

Funny hitchhiking signs

Veteran hitchhiker Patrick Falterman reckons the best way to get a lift is to get a laugh. Here, he shares his favourite humorous hitchhiking signs...

Every hitchhiker loves to make signs while they're on the open road. I guess there's something about that old image of a drifter holding a piece of cardboard with the word ‘anywhere’ scribbled on it that feeds the hopeless romantic in all of us. 

Making a sign can often help you get a quicker ride, too. But when making a sign, remember that one of the most useful tools available to a hitchhiker is a sense of humour.

Here is a compilation of funny, crude, effective, and sometimes just plain out-there hitchhiking signs that I have collected from fellow travellers. Keep in mind that not all of these should be used on the road; some I’ve just put on here because they make me chuckle. Use at your own discretion, and utilise that noggin, you dope.

‘Won’t Kill You!’

– Digihitch.com

‘Freshly Showered!’ 

– Digihitch.com

‘Maybe I’m Jesus’ 

– MN

‘Not on the run’ 

– Mtn Bum

‘I didn’t escape, I was released’

– MN

‘Free weed!’ 

– MN

‘Free weed?’ 

– Mtn Bum

‘I smelled worse yesterday’ 

– MN

‘Almost there!’ 

– Mtn Bum

‘I have an English accent’ 

– Kabuki Mono

‘I won’t testify!’

– Mtn Bum

‘This sign used to be my house’ 

– MN

‘Lost it all in Vegas’ 

– Mtn Bum

‘Keep driving if you’re a jackass’ 

– Mtn Bum

‘HURRY! And we can catch the hot chick two cars ahead of you!’ 

– Mtn Bum

‘How about THIS time?’ 

– MN

‘It’s a pickup truck for f*%!sake!’ 

– Mtn Bum

‘I’m not in a position to be choosy’ 

– Kabuki Mono

‘Take me to your leader’ 

– Nick R.

‘I don’t find my situation funny’ 

– Kabuki Mono

‘…dying…’ 

Kabuki Mono

‘I’ll hide your stash’ 

– Mtn Bum

‘I’ll sing backup’ 

– Mtn Bum

‘My sister’s cute – she’s in the next town’ 

– Kabuki Mono

‘I saw what you did back there’ 

– MN

‘In my country, the middle finger means you’re stopping’ 

– MN

‘Will agree with you’ 

– MN

Patrick Falterman took up hitchhiking when it dawned on him that he didn't have enough money to buy a plane ticket from Houston to the Amazon. Five years – and many miles – later, he is currently canoeing down the Amazon. You can follow his adventures on his blog, Hitch The World.

Main image: 'Don't pickup hitchhikers' (Shutterstock)

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